Written by IainB
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Topics: Dinosaurs, Cumbria

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

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The bones from the largest dinosaur ever discovered have turned up in a back garden in Cumbria, England.

Ray Dioaktif was planting his strawberry crop ready for next year when his spade hit what at first he thought was a rock, Excavating around the rock revealed it to be a massive leg bone from a sauropod dinosaur that has been tentatively named Bigbastard by Ray. The Linean society are not impressed by the name, and it will probably be changed.

Archaeologists and palaeontologists have worked around the clock to fully unearth the dinosaur. They have been forced to destroy Ray's strawberry patch, knock down his house and take up the street in order to uncover this enormous beast that made the earth shake some eighty million years ago.

"It's an incredible find," said Paul O'Cloud, the accountant leading the investigation. "This sauropod was nearly nine hundred feet long and would have weighed hundreds of tonnes."

The dinosaur has taken the record of the "world's largest animal ever" from the blue whale. No blue whales were available to comment over this fact, on account of them all hiding from Japanese scientific ships.

The anti-evolution campaign claim it is the skeleton of a chicken that was exposed to radiation from the nearby Sellafield plant.

As for Ray, he is less than impressed by the discovery.

"It were bad enough when they killed me petunias," he said, "but when they knocked down me house, me and me wife were quite upset. We'd only just had a new kitchen put in. Now I'm living in a bloody caravan. Sodding dinosaurs."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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