High-performance Internet connections are set to be renamed following complaints about the sexist term Broadband.
Broadband was first coined in America by pioneering Internet users, predominantly male and without partners, who had petitioned for improved connection speeds for viewing broads on the Web. These are the right-handed men who use a left-handed mouse, and who's PCs have a wipe-down keyboard and built-in tissue dispenser. The term was adopted world-wide without people realising its origins.
Now the World Wide Web Consortium wants to change the name to avoid embarrassment. A spokesperson has suggested that Broadband should be known for its current uses, not its sordid history. A shortlist has been drawn up and is thought to include the following: BetNet, Jerkband, Scam-o-Line and PirateLink. The frontrunner, however, is Information Super Time-waste.