Earth - While mapping the star placements in a neighboring universe on the first day of April this year, the Hubble Space Telescope discovered something truly monumental, which has both PETA and the entire scientific community on an uproar. The monumental discovery? Nothing short of the apparently universe-famous Golden Arches.
"This is simply an astounding discovery," Pete Ford, an astronomer working for B.I.G. S.H.I.T. (Bureau Governing Society's Highly Intellectual Theories). "If there was anything that could be called indisputable proof of intelligent life elsewhere in the cosmos, this is it."
A PETA spokesperson, Mabel Suineface, had a differing opinion. "This has got to be the most terrible thing that has ever happened," she exclaimed in a carefully rehearsed manner. "Do you realize that this probably means cholesterol is the most common organic compound in the entire universe?"
A group of cattle farmers standing nearby offered to chip in to send the entire PETA organization off to help protect the cosmos from stupidity, an offer that was met with mixed reactions.