Written by susan allen-rosario
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Scientists, Michigan

Monday, 17 January 2005

image for Scientists Create Bullshit Powered Car
The Resource Manifold Oozeometer

Detroit, Michigan - Scientists have created a new hybrid car that runs, for the most part, on the fumes emitted when human beings lie or bullshit.

"We used to say, "He's just full of hot air", when describing a person who exaggerates or bullshits. Now we say, "He's full of reusable fuel", said Dr. Simon Depot. He further explained the development of the conversion unit that both detects these fumes and changes them into a usable fuel source.

"First, we detect, collect and convert, then we store it in the Resource Manifold Oozeometer or RMO". The car's engine is a simple combustion type engine requiring a small electrical charge to ignite the fuel.

"We get most of our fuel from political campaigns, fundraisers and singles bars. At the last Republican convention, the bullshit-o-meter went off the charts. Enough fuel was collected to power an entire fleet of our cars. We were only there for a few speeches, before we were asked to leave. I can't even imagine how much we could have collected if we were able to stay for the entire event.

We then took the "meter" to Ralph Nader's Green Party campaign. His campaign speeches emitted absolutely no fumes or gases. He talked the whole time and never let anyone else speak. There was no bullshit, just a lot of whining and complaining about the other two parties. We are looking forward to the Democratic convention in Boston this week. The bullshit crop, overall, should be excellent this year. It's a great time to gather fuel".

When asked about collecting in singles bars, he stated, "We have had a lot of luck in those places too, we will go anywhere that people gather, exaggerate, make false promises and over-state their claims. We are also considering taking the bullshit-o-meter to job interviews and on-line dating services, if we can get permission. Maybe we'll just sneak in for a trial run, disguised as the new cable guy", he said laughingly.

"We are also developing a small fuel collector that goes inside the cars, so if you travel or carpool with a "reusable fuel" type person or "bullshitter", you will be able to gather your own fuel while driving. The possibilities are many".

Make susan allen-rosario's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 1?

7 5 3 17
75 readers are online right now!

Go to top