Written by Aspartame Boy
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Topics: Cars, Energy, Gasoline, corn

Saturday, 29 August 2009

image for Corn-gas powered concept car awarded federal grant
The cornobile barked in a farmer's barn

Washington DC - The Rhind Corporation, according to it's spokesman Dr. Artfay, was awarded a 3.3 billion dollar grant to develop a prototype corn-gas powered car. The car is sustainable and is fueled by natural gas. The gas is renewable, and need not be purchased.

The new car design is expected to sell well to farmers, who have to drive a long way into town for supplies. They will not need to stop to purchase fuel, since the natural gas is produced on the farm.

Key to the gas production is the consumption of extra corn. How much extra corn? Depends on the amount the car is driven.

Special tubes connect the outlet of the farmer's intestines while he is seated in the car. Natural gas is collected and burned in a special turbine engine. A special loft is built into the roof the the car with a feeding chute that supplies a continuous feed of corn to the farmer.

And the corn? Less than 1/1000 of one percent of the farmer's crop is expected to be needed.

A special "gas-ready" species of corn was engineered for this application by Monasso, a corporation known for agent red and seeds that produce crops that have no seeds.

This corn has none of its energy absorbed in the intestine; it is all converted to natural gas when digested, gas that is used to fuel the car. The process is very efficient and is expected to be used in Asia with a special rice being developed there.

The corn also contains aspartame, as a result of genetic engineering by Monasso which has a pleasing narcotic effect on the farmer while producing the gas, making it somewhat addictive. It also cuts down on the gas pains.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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