Written by Blazing Saddle
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Tuesday, 25 August 2009

image for Myth Busted - Altoid Mints Do Not Improve Fellatio
Fellatio timetable for Mythbusters tests

Sometimes, we all wish we could be Mythbusters. The latest triumph for the team debunks the long-standing urban myth that chewing Altoid mints prior to giving head can improve sensation for the fellated one.

The male Mythbusters were provided with 25 fellatrices each, at a rate of 3 per day (with Sundays off).

The token female Mythbuster was given a pack of Altoids and told to get on with it, however, her jaw had been shattered by a home made rectal thermometer explosion and she felt unable to provide the appropriate level of suction.

Base levels of fellatio sensation were recorded by linking the recipients to seismographs during ejaculation and levels of 6.7 to 8.9 on the Richter scale were recorded without the use of Altoids.

Once the Altoid trials began the earth moved slighly less (on average) with seismograph readings of 6.3 to 8.6 being recorded. (There is a possibility that the wearing of gel kneeepads by the fellatrices could have skewed the results).

"I was blown away with the result" says Chief Mythbuster. "It was tough duty - but I felt I should lead the team on this one".

On balance, the team declared "Myth Busted" but have volunteered to endure a second round of trials to rule out the kneepad effect.

A proposal to replace the Altoids with Fishermans Friends was dismissed as "just silly".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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