Written by Blazing Saddle
Print this

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

image for Myth Busted - Altoid Mints Do Not Improve Fellatio
Fellatio timetable for Mythbusters tests

Sometimes, we all wish we could be Mythbusters. The latest triumph for the team debunks the long-standing urban myth that chewing Altoid mints prior to giving head can improve sensation for the fellated one.

The male Mythbusters were provided with 25 fellatrices each, at a rate of 3 per day (with Sundays off).

The token female Mythbuster was given a pack of Altoids and told to get on with it, however, her jaw had been shattered by a home made rectal thermometer explosion and she felt unable to provide the appropriate level of suction.

Base levels of fellatio sensation were recorded by linking the recipients to seismographs during ejaculation and levels of 6.7 to 8.9 on the Richter scale were recorded without the use of Altoids.

Once the Altoid trials began the earth moved slighly less (on average) with seismograph readings of 6.3 to 8.6 being recorded. (There is a possibility that the wearing of gel kneeepads by the fellatrices could have skewed the results).

"I was blown away with the result" says Chief Mythbuster. "It was tough duty - but I felt I should lead the team on this one".

On balance, the team declared "Myth Busted" but have volunteered to endure a second round of trials to rule out the kneepad effect.

A proposal to replace the Altoids with Fishermans Friends was dismissed as "just silly".

Make Blazing Saddle's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 5?

2 5 17 14
51 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more