A British man living in the Thai eastern seaboard resort of Pattaya was inconsolable yesterday after a lunchtime telephone call home to his mother in the UK went tragically wrong when the doddery old lady didn't answer the phone.
Monkey Woods, a trainee teacher, called his mum in Hull, but was alarmed to find that the phone rang and rang and rang without reply, leaving him unsure as to what had happened to his dear old Mumster at the other end of the line.
Everything crossed his mind from 'wrong number' to 'murder', and even 'Alien Abduction', and Woods spent more than five minutes worrying over the fate of his poor mother back in Yorkshire.
The mystery was solved earlier today, however, when our Spoof reporter caught up with the aforementioned Mrs Woods at her home whilst she was 'doing the dishes'. She grumbled:
"The soft bugger. It might have been lunchtime over there in Thailand, but it was still the 'middle of the night' here. I was sound asleep, and I'll be buggered if I'm going to get out of bed just to answer the phone from him!"