Astrologers all over the country are dismayed this evening after their view of spectacular meteors was blocked out by a Perseid Shower. The meteors are usually viewable for two nights at this time of year, but tonight proved not to be one.
A group calling themselves the Manchester Meteor Watchers managed to spot two before their view was ruined. They later accepted that one of their 'spots' was actually a 737.
A man in Peterborough who told his wife he was popping out for a Swift Tuttle was most disappointed when he failed to observe any meteors at all. Local police suggested that his view may have been obscured by his twenty-year-old neighbour's bathroom window, where a nose print was found on the glass.
In Durham, a man out trying to observe meteors was hit and killed by a tiny red hot stone that hit him at phenomenal speed.
The Met Office has refused to comment on the Perseid Shower and why they failed to predict it.