Written by Frankie The J
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Saturday, 1 August 2009

image for DNA to decide: Is Nancy Pelosi really Jane Pauley?
If this photograph of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is not also a photograph of Jane Pauley, Newt will go down on Ann

Clark Kent and Superman are never seen together, and for a very simple reason; they are the same person. Neither House Squeaker Nancy Pelosi nor television anchor woman Jane Pauley have ever been seen together. Are they, as many have claimed, the same woman? President Barack Obama requested the United States Supreme Court to compel Pelosi and Pauley to give DNA samples to Bethesda Naval Hospital in an effort to find out the truth.

"We must know if Jane Pauley is an objective journalist or if she is actually Nancy Pelosi," Obama said on his Saturday radio broadcast.

Republican law makers doubt the President's sincerity as regards this issue. "After all, regardless of whether the two women are actually one woman, both are liberal Democrats. The President can have his cake and eat it too," said Ron Paul, a man known to be able to find a government conspiracy in the statue of the US Marines raising the flag atop Iwo Jima.

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, and Republican cover girl, Ann Coulter, agree with Paul. "What does it matter to him if they're the same person," asked Gingrich. "That's right," said Coulter (who, by the way, looked stunning in her new Victoria's Secret push up bra). "It's a win-win situation for Obama," she concluded.

The high court has given the two (or one?) women (or woman?) 48-hours to give blood samples to the Navy hospital. Results will be revealed in two weeks on CSI.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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