Written by Chamone
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Friday, 31 July 2009

image for By 2255 Most Humans Alive Today Will Be Dead

A scientist has stunned the World with his announcement that most of the people alive this very moment will be dead come 2255.

"Governments around the World are not prepared for all these deaths. I'm as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer", said Prof. Cackhole from the University of Arse, Arseland.

Panic has set in all across the Globe. Funeral directors have reported an increase in coffin sales. People are going out and buying their death robes before the apocalypse.

One local man committed suicide rather than die!

Governments around the World have pledged billions towards a rescue plan.
"We can't have all these innocent people die without at least doing something. I've looked at the calendar and 2255 isn't too far off really…", said one crackjob nutter.

The same professor was also responsible for alerting humanity to the perils of Global warming, Global Cooling, The Greenhouse Effect, The Ozone Layer, Acid Rain, Britney Spears baldness, the lack of toilet roll in cubicle number two at the local shopping centre toilets and several other life-changing events.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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