Written by Steepdog1
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Topics: Illinois, Steps

Wednesday, 14 July 2004

image for Bubble Boy Leaves House, Gets Job
Mylo Spahn enjoys his new job at Jack's Bistro

BLOOMINGTON ILLINOIS-- After spending the first 19 years of his life in a protective plastic bubble, a Bloomington man took his first steps into the outside world this week.

Mylo Spahn, who suffers from a rare condition resulting in a weakened immune system told his parents and friends that he was tired of being cooped up in his bedroom...and then just walked out the front door.

Unbeknownst to those around him, Spahn had invented a special "bubble helmet" that allows him much greater mobility.

"I couldn't believe no one had thought of it before," said Spahn, "I guess when you're not the one stuck in a bubble you're busy inventing important things like the cure for cancer and a way to grow seedless watermelon."

Martha Spahn said that she was horrified when she learned her son had left the house. "It was just awful!" said Mrs. Spahn, "I walked into Mylo's room and the bubble was empty. He'd just left a note that said 'Mom, went out. Be back later' "

Mylo had actually had gone and applied for a job at Jack's Bistro, a local fine dining establishment.

"Well, I was a bit alarmed when I saw this freak walk into my restaurant and ask me for a job," said owner Jack Huffington, "but after I gave the kid a chance, he actually turned out to be a good waiter. Plus, there's no chance he'll sneeze in the food."

"I really like my new job," said Spahn, "Sure, some of the customers are rude to me, and shout things like 'Hey freak!' or 'There goes that freak!' or 'this steak has a scabby band-aid under it!' but for the most part the tips and the hours are good.

Dr. Martin Spellman, Spahn's physician has examined Mylo's 'bubble helmet' and says it appears to be effective. "It's actually just a blown up condom on his head." said Spellman, "I suppose I could have thought of that. Or maybe I just should have told him that his condition went into remission when he was nine."

Spellman says that Spahn has a very slim chance of leading a normal life, but that fact has little to do with his health condition.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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