John Connor cannot understand how in hell his friend Kyle Reese, whom he sent back in time to 1984 to save his mother's life, could then turn out to be his father.
"It kinda messes with your head", said Connor today - which is really the future.
Kyle Reese also has trouble comprehending what is going on:
"John sent me back on a mission to protect his mother Sarah Connor from a murderous Austrian cyborg - long story, I won't go into it here. I ended up having one night of passion with Sarah while on the run. It turns out that I actually fathered John there and then. But how could this be if I am younger than John and it was he who sent me back in time in the first place?", he wondered.
To add further to the confusion, Kyle died in 1984 at the hands of the Terminator during some sort of bonkers chase sequence in an abandoned factory.
"I don't get it. If my dad died in 1984, then how could he have been with me in the future in the first place?", puzzled John Connor.
"And here's another thing: how did I change from looking like Edward Furlong in T2 to then changing into Nick Whatshisname in the shitty third one, and then finally to Welsh mumbler Christian Bale? What's that about? Why does my face, voice and mannerism's keep changing? And why do the films keep getting shittier? - I mean 'real life', that is, not 'films'. I am talking about real life. The apocalypse is upon us!", Connor said.