A man who recently died, and who later managed to contact his wife through tarot cards, has revealed that God is actually way more ugly than originally expected.
Kevin Jones was killed by a high velocity squirrel and because he was of good character and went to mass as much as he could, was sent directly to Heaven.
Jones' wife, Allison, said her husband used a deck of tarot cards she won at a fun fair five years ago to communicate with her.
Upon arrival at Heaven, Kevin was greeted by a choir of cherubic angels at a large golden gate on a giant fluffy cloud.
He quickly fitted in with the dead way of life and eventually was summoned to God's right hand side for a private meeting.
"Kevin described the meeting in fine detail. He said God didn't have a beard and that he actually looked a bit like country singer Lyle Lovett on a bad day", said Alison.
"He said that God spent the whole time picking his nose and eating it! He had bad breath and funny teeth. He was not what religions usually paint him to look like".
Mrs. Jones' claims are being verified by the Vatican at present, who are going through their archives of foto-fit images of God all down through the centuries to see if it matches any of their records for authenticity.