A scientific study has shown that young men who drive cars with very noisy engines are more likely to have tiny penises.
There is a direct correlation between the decibel levels of male drivers cars and the girth and length of their penis. Apparently those with tiny dicks have to try all that much harder in order to attract attention from females.
Some splash out on all kinds of device to attach to their car exhaust pipes to boost the overall nuisance noise of their battered old Peugeot 305's with alloy wheels. Some have even taken the drastic step of buying CD's of tractor engines sounds to play at full volume inside their cars.
Most though still try to hide their shame behind tinted windows.
"There are literally thousands of young men driving around and about the countryside every day of the week on what are virtually extremely noisy lawnmowers", said the Professor who led the study.
And the advice from the experts on how to really attract the ladies?
Drive a nice quiet fuel efficient Volkswagen in a pastel shade that matches the colour of lady of your desires' shoes - oh, and have a big dick and loads of money.