Written by queen mudder
Print this
Topics: NASA, moon, Ronald Reagan

Thursday, 18 June 2009

image for NASA plans nuking secret Reagan-era lunar ray gun
The Lunar Ray Gun is loosely modelled on this high tech predecessor

NASA HQ, Groom Lake, Nevada - (X-Files Mess): Officially it's Centaur rocket target practice on a particularly alien patch of the Sea of Tranquility.

But NASA's proposed exploratory moon crater nuking by the unmanned robotic Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) probe aims to destroy a terrible cold war secret.

For somewhere in the Moon's Fecunditatis basin lies hidden a massive Pentagon prototype laser gun, dumped in 1982 on Presidential orders after Nancy Reagan's astrologer said "Nuke the Bastards!"

The ray gun's existence has been a huge thorn in the US military's flesh after Bush Administration warmonger Donald Rumsfeldt 'accidentally' sold a huge swathe of exploration rights on the lunar surface to the Zion Oil Prospecting Corporation.

This week's liftoff will see NASA's accompanying Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter on hand to video the entire proceedings, map the trail of destruction and sell the resulting footage to the highest bidder on eBay.

Buzz Aldrin is 104.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 2?

3 4 14 8
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more