Written by Stuart Gilbert

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Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for Nearly the end of the world
View from space. That's my house, right there.

It should have been the end of the world earlier this morning as a huge asteroid slammed into the Earth at an unimaginable speed.

Fortunately for us, another asteroid crashed into us from the exact opposite angle at the exact same time causing both asteroids to just "bounce" off harmlessly leaving nothing more than a couple of crushed places.

These are believed to be the whole Middle East and some part of the Atlantic Ocean.
Scientists are refusing to comment on how they not only missed one asteroid heading towards us, but TWO WHOLE ASTEROIDS.

Chief Space Scientist, John Tinkleberry, from NASA told us that they just "weren't paying attention because there was this naked woman on TV".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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