Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 10 June 2009

image for Pixel Liberation Army
The first computer serial killer

It started back in the 1970s when Pacman ate his first ghost. Within a year, aliens were being decimated in their thousands across the world as they marched down computer screens in arcades.

With the advent of games like Doom, and latterly World of Warcraft, where a single gamer can easily wipe out hundreds of families of disfigured aliens, the number of murdered computer individuals has sky-rocketed.

Twenty years after the lone fighter pilot destroyed the Galaxion civilisation, the death toll has run into its quadrillions, with approximately 10 million computer sprites killed every hour of every day across the globe.

With such horrific numbers, the Pixel Liberation Army has decided to take a stand.

The initial victims will be teenage boys locked in their bedrooms with their X-Boxes suddenly playing Sport Sims, Scrabble and Tetris only as the aliens and foreign invaders previously mercilessly slaughtered no longer lining up to be gun fodder for gamers.

The Sims have come out on strike in sympathy, and will stand around doing nothing, though it may take some time for this fact to filter through to the gaming community.

No longer will warped faced aliens and identical looking German soldiers line up on gamers' screens. Instead these games will be a fruitless search for something to kill. Gaming specialists are expecting a more aggressive stance to be taken if gamers don't get the message that sprites don't want to die any more. Initially, this may take the form of terrorists attack, but it could escalate into zombies, aliens and other nefarious monsters collaborating in a mass invasion of Earth. However, should this occur, there are several million Earthlings already equipped to take them on and wipe them out, so don't worry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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