Today, in Springfield, Illinois, an attempt was made at writing the longest headline in history for no apparent reason. At all.
Spoof writer Mr Gustav Snardberger said: 'Yes, siree, for too long headlines were just a few words that summarised articles. But here in downtown Springfield we decided that a headline should be so long that it was actually bigger than the article!'
'And so here is our world record-breaking headline: 'Attempt At Longest Headline In History With As Many Words As Possible For No Apparent Reason Is Made By Spoof Writer, Blah Blah, Tum Tee Tum, Hey Ho, That Should Do It, What's For Dinner.' Pretty good, huh?'
When a passing journalist pointed out that the whole point of a headline is to be brief and concise, Mr Snardberger angrily replied: 'I am very, very angry, and have nothing more to say. Except supercalifragalisticexpialidocious would fit into my headline nicely! Woohoo!'
But former US President George 'Duh' Bush gave his full support to the world-breaking attempt. 'At last Americans can win something', he said, 'and I don't mean wars!'
'For too long the American people have been subjectamented to satire and spoofage, but just when y'all thought it was safe to go back into the water, that dreadful monster with huge teeth appeared to attack the Eastern seaboard. Yep, Barack Olabama. Wouldn't surprise me if an even longerer headline would appeat, appear, today. Oh, it has.'
'Umdiddleumdiddleumdiddle I, Umdiddleumdiddleumdiddle I', actress Julie Andrews claimed, in support of the world record attempt.