Written by Stuart Gilbert
Print this
Topics: fly, flies

Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for Cement man eats fruit fly shocker
Cement Man

It has recently been reported that the worlds smallest cement man, handily named Cement Man, has devoured a fruit fly!

These shocking events were unveiled earlier this week, it has created a massive response world-wide with riots in every major city in the world.

Some people have been spotted running around the streets of London pretending to shoot their guns into the air, they were spotted soon afterwards apparently realising that they were not American and therefore did not have guns.

The following quotes are taken directly from a brief from Prime Minister Tony Blair: "I really don't care, it's a fruit fly and I'm the Prime Minister.", "OH NO! Get over it already!" and "Please daddy, not again, please no, no, no, NO, NOOOOO!"

A man claims to have watched the incredible event take place from his bedroom window, the man who has been taken into police custody is not allowed to be named for legal reasons. He has been restrained for his own safety as for some unknown reason he is now the main target of the Fruits Rights extremist group "The TaliGranny Smiths".

US President George Bush issued the following notice "I did not have sexual relations with that woman... oh no wait, that's not right... We do not negotiate with quality packaged fruit extracts as fresh as when they were picked and delivered staright to your hands... oh dear, I don't know where I am, can I go home now?"

Obviously the effects of the crime have taken their toll on everybody excluding George Bush who is just that dumb normally.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 2?

3 22 19 6
68 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more