Written by SoCoolAZ
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Topics: Texas

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Guest began to arrive at the non-descript million dollar Dallas mansion of George W Bush just hours after news broke that scientists had discovered the 'missing link' between man and monkey.

"We are all excited to hear that my husband George has finally been able to complete his side of the family's geneology," exuded a smiling Laura Bush. "I was just teasing Jenna on how all the years of calling her 'my little monchici' now have justification...She really is part monkey!"

National Geographic recently reported that the skeletal remains of Ida, a half-man, half-lemur that had spent the last 20 years on an Italian millionaire's wall is discovered to be what scientists have long described as the 'missing-link' between humans and monkeys, evolutionarily speaking.

"I stand corrected," pronounced a blushing George W Bush, "Dick Cheney just called me up to tell me he had moved his copy of the King James Bible from the bathroom to the fiction section of his library where it now sits next to his Dan Brown collection of novels. I'll be a monkey's uncle...! Creationism and Christianity have now been debunked by science...! Just like the economy, I never saw that comin'."

National Geographic say that the discovery of Ida proves that Darwinism, a long-time scientific theory dismissed as 'hocus-pocus' by hard-line conservatives and the Christian right are indeed validated.

A spokesman for National Geographic who wished to remain anonymous stated, "The scientific community has always known that the belief in 'creation' by a magic Wizard of Oz type character within a 7-day time-line was troublesome, scientifically speaking," but added, "Stupid people need something stupid to believe in."

"Tonight we're gonna party likes its 3,002,009 BC," stated Bush who was earlier seen eating ants out of an anthill with a stick. "What do I have to say to all those Christians that voted for me? Well hey, science proved it and I guess I always was answerin' to a higher power. I just never figured it was Clyde from Every Which Way but Loose."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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