Written by David Swinstead
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Monday, 4 March 2002

image for New Linux Mascot Created
Desparate Dan is so hard, he shaves with a slowtorch

Following up on last months exclusive report on the "branching out" of Linux mascot Tux the penguin, this privileged reporter has been shown official primary sketches of what has been confirmed as the replacement for Tux.

The character is a large-bodied cowboyesque Caucasian male, with a large hat, a chiselled face, and spurred boots. The name of the Tux-replacing cowboy has been confirmed as being "Tex". At this early stage it appears that Tex will often be accompanied by his trusty steed, "Mr. Horsey Worsey". The naming of these characters has already been slated by employees of Microsoft, who also liken the main mascot character to "Desperate Dan" from the comic "The Dandy".

News has also come in of Tux's progress in his new career - a pornstar. He is said to be struggling during the making of his first feature film, due to his complete lack of genitals. We wish him the best of luck.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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