Written by Wire Piddle
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Topics: swine flu

Sunday, 3 May 2009

image for 'Canada's Got Talent' - Farmer Gives Pigs Swine Flu
Gracious Swine Farm - Alberta, Canada

CALGARY (CP) - A contestant of a talent show, 'Canada's Got Talent', has made it to the second round by successfully giving his pigs the Swine Flu. Mr. Burt Gracious, a pig farmer in Alberta, thought up his novelty act whilst on vacation in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

To this point in human history, there has been no record of transmission of the H1N1 virus from human to animal.

"I thought it would be quite unique to be able to make a statement regarding the fallibility of world genetic engineering while at the same time provide wholesome family entertainment on a nationwide talent show,"

Having contracted the Swine Flu in Mexico, Mr. Gracious tested his theory on several friends and relatives before moving to his herd of swine.

"Most of my close friends and relatives are now either enduring the Swine Flu at home or on life support in hospital. Needless to say, the positive results exceeded my expectations."

For his part, Simon Cowell, show creator and judge on 'Canada's Got Talent' had a few negative words for the aspiring pandemic creator.

"I didn't like the way he was dressed." said Mr. Cowell. "He looked too much like a man who wanted to be a farmer that could give his animals a bout of infectious disease. I didn't like his choice of pigs either. But then I heard him cough. And, quite frankly, that cough is fantastic. I mean that. I really do."

Although the Canadian Food Inspection Agency doesn't foresee any problems with the transmission of Swine Flu through the consumption of pork products, pigs are being warned to avoid eating Canadians returning from Mexico.

UPDATE: For his part, show presenter, Ben Mulroney, has stated that he and his family have "..come down with the trots." No word on whether Mr. Mulroney's father, former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, has been affected.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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