NASA scientists were celebrating today after snapping a picture of the most distant object in the universe. The object, designated Swineflu 91, is barely visible to the naked eye, fuzzy in a pair of 10x50 binoculars, and jumps around a lot when viewed through a magnifying glass.
Dr. Seymour Pandemic, chief scientist at NASA's JPL facility, described the object as "mm grmph urrggh shffff shsssss mmm grmph grmph" before being asked by reporters to remove his surgical mask. "This is a fantastic snapshot. The light from Swineflu 91 left an amazing 100 days ago, longer than most people can remember, and the object itself was created a mere two trillion years after the Big Bang. It's right at the edge of the Universe, and the view from there must be spectacular." explained Dr. Pandemic.
US astronomer Professor Bouef Burger, from the Harvard Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics in Cambridge, Massachusetts, who just heard the news of Swineflu 91, said: "I have been looking for my glasses for the last fifteen years, and now this has to come along. I can't see a thing without them. May I borrow your surgical mask?"