Written by matwil
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Topics: The Spoof, plague

Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for Plague of Boils strikes The Spoof

After a seemingly healthy period for website The Spoof, which had long recovered from a dreadful outbreak of bad Goody articles, a plague of Boils of almost Biblical proportions struck it this week.

Boil analyst Sir Hackney P. Look said: 'One minute The Spoof was doing well, plenty of articles about the world of politics and news, entertainment and sport, when without warning a plaque of Boils suddenly engulfed the site!'

'Boil after Boil began filling up the various sections, until within a few hours every section had lots of Boils - even the sports one. In all my experience as a wartologist and pimplemeister I have never heard of such a plague, I'm scared to even read an article right now in case there are Boils in it.'

Other scientists were investigating the mysterious plague, and it was rumoured that Government biologists and even geneticists had been called in try and find the cause of the outbreak, but to no avail. 'We can find no reason for all the Boils', an anonymous health and safety officer said, 'but we suspect it's related to the previous Goody plague, one which, although almost eradicated, still resurfaces in The Spoof from time to time.'

'Writers visiting the website should first wash their hands, and then under no circumstances continue to copy one another's ideas, subjects, jokes and spoofs, as that can lead to certain death of originality, if not to others dying of boredom trying to avoid all the infected articles.'

But more drastic measures may be needed to wipe out the plague, according to controversial medical researcher, Dr. Josef Mengele. 'I suggest we line up all the people who bring the Boils into The Spoof, and machine-gun them to death! Either that or inject them with a live Brand X virus, the virus that means you become incapable of writing about anything else except for the current tabloid fake celebrity.'

'I am confident that my experiments on live subjects will help remove the Boils from here, though the real challenge is the final end of the Goody plague, as tragically it is still lingering on, even after we thought it was dead.'

Next week be prepared for a plague of locusts, followed by a drought of interesting famous people.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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