Written by Khadija
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Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for Britain's Got Talent - Hollie Steel is the new 'Julie Andrews' says Julie Andrews!
'Hollie Steel' is infact a clone from the legendary 'Julie Andrews!'

Hollie Steel, 7 and a half , is the new me says Julie Andrews. Julie who has not been in the news since 1970, because she has talent has announced to the world... Hollie Steel is actually her, because she is a DNA clone.

Andrews 67, cloned her DNA ten years ago, as a protest to the music industry's obsession with youth and beauty. She chose the song "I could have danced all night" to wow the judges, as a protest to being denied the chance to sing it in the film "My Fair Lady". Producers at the time stated Andrews was to 'plain and dowdy' for the role and gave the part to the glamorous Audrey Hepburn, whose piss-poor growl was later dubbed-over and replaced by someone who could hold a tune.

Andrews who is one of the finest voices in musical theatre decided she would have another crack of fame and produced Hollie Steel from a laryngeal skin scraping.

Andrews said " I am very proud I have now done so well, standards have slipped in all aspects of entertainment. I was considered too DOWDY for "MY FAIR LADY", with my brill voice and pussy-cat dolls appearance, so I do not get the whole 'Susan Boyle' thing, who frankly sounds and looks like a pissed-up Harry Secombe.

"Regardless I wish her well , but if she thinks she can beat a yester-year frump's DNA clone, I'll stop cutting up photographs of Audrey Hepburn- the Milli Vanilli of her day Don't get me wrong ,I hold her no malice against Hepburn, others may say she was simply a long-necked, tone-deaf clothes horse. But it is now 2009 and I, Hollie Steel will beat Susan Boyle - garnering public sympathy from my weak grade one ballet routine and my kick-ass voice. I could also get a kitten or a puppy that is sick and get myself bullied at school and where will Susan be then. The Hills are alive with the sound of music ......... I still got it, I still got it"

"The world is mine!" said Julie rubbing her hands maniacally.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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