Fossils found in China may give a clue to the origins of tyrannosaurus rex. Uncovered near the city of Xhichaigo, the fossils come from a new form of tyrannosaurus, dubbed the hzillarao qlintovirus.
The remains are similar to the earlier finds of duck-faced dinosaurs, the maqbealiae, and those of the older reptiles of the rodhamici genus, blood-sucking nomadic lizards that preyed on herds of pack animals in North America, as they desperately migrated each year to what is now the Washington DC area to get sustenance and nutrition.
Writing in the Royal Society's journal Whitewater Whitewash, Professor Monica Levinsky said: 'The hzillarao find is an important one, it is a link between the general species of dinosaurs and modern mammals, such as vampire bats and hyenas.'
'The huge teeth of the hzillarao match those of t rexes, though slightly bigger, and its behaviour is believed to be closer to that of the bats and hyenas - waiting for years for an animal to attack, then sinking its teeth into its host and draining all of its blood and life.'
But another Professor in Illinois, Reverend Barfield De Kenyatta, disagreed with the Whitewash article. 'I don't think the hzillarao was so important', he said, from the Michigan College of Debanjo, 'what color was its bones? Dem bones, dem bones ...', though Professor Levinsky added:
'We're well aware of Reverend De Kenyatta's obsession with colour, we however are scientists, and place no weight on such trivial things, or on anything he says, to be honest. The evidence points to the hzillarao living off Washington pack animals that weren't smart enough to avoid it, showing how weak such animals were.'
And in a surprise announcement, former American President 'Wild' Bill Clintock added: 'The hzillarao ain't just an extinct dinosaur, man, one attacked me just a short while ago. Just as I was havin' tea with Professor Levinsky in the Oval Office.'
'It bit me so hard I nearly died, I was only saved by phoning Reverend Kenyatta and tricking him to come into the room, and the hzillarao sunk its teeth into him instead to get fresh blood, and I escaped. Though Professor Levinsky got some of my stains on her dress, but I begged her to keep it dirty as proof of the hzillarao's existence, and she reluctantly agreed.'
The Royal Society is also commissioning a study into the hzillarao findings, as they believe the creature may possibly have been a giant prehistoric parasite, rather than a lizard. Or maybe both.