Written by Harry Porter

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Topics: Women, Diet

Tuesday, 29 June 2004

image for Atkins diet proves to be a breeding turn-off
Not much use between the covers

Breaking news that the Atkins diet can affect women's chances of having a baby will come as no surprise to the tens of thousands who have adopted the high protein fad.

While studies on mice have revealed a stunted reproductive ability, research at Manchester's Institute of Dietary Studies, has already shown the Atkins diet to be a highly-effective contraceptive.

An astonishing 98.5 per cent of women who took part in a two-year survey failed to conceive while following the diet.

Dr Paul Martin, who conducted the survey, said: "Bad breath and uncontrollable flatulence during periods of exercise have proved to be a major obstacle to the basic process of procreation.

"An interesting fact also to emerge from our research is that the soixante neuf is now a virtually obsolete practice in well-ventilated bedrooms across the globe."

The Atkins diet was the creation of Dr Robert Atkins and advocated a low-carb' lifestyle for good health. He is dead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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