Despite technological advancements such as daytime TV, sympathy and large clothes, over 97% of women claim their pregnancies are 'fu*cking boring' and 'didn't generate as much attention as hoped', according to new research published this month.
In a survey conducted in Cardiff last year researchers were amazed to discover women will do anything to make their pregnancies more interesting - despite possibly harming their unborn children.
One case study, who wished to remain anonymous, admitted she stayed in bed 20 hours a day in order to sleep away the months.
"I just couldn't wait," the fed-up mum-to-be told researchers. "And I ate a lot. At one point I was quaffing up to six litres of undiluted Ribena a day to see if it turned my wee blue, which it didn't. I was also eating up to a kilo of raw meat in an evening. That helped. And I played Uno with the cat."
Another unidentified woman admitted she only became pregnant to 'cause a scene at work' and revealed that after the initial round of congratulations, she felt used.
"I was the centre of attention for about 30 minutes, then everyone went back to their desks," she said. "I couldn't understand it. I had to wait for 9 months in order for anyone to even bother asking me about it again. It was fucking boring. I won't be doing it again."