Written by Norfolk'n'Clue
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Topics: Security, software

Monday, 28 June 2004

image for Critical security flaw in software discovered.
A man who might be a programmer, looking smug and un-apologetic, yesterday.

A security hole has been found in some software. The programmer said that they had just released a patch for old flaws, and didn't plan on releasing any more any time soon.

"I've just moved house, and now I've got to mow the lawn. Then my wife wants me to put the curtain rails up. There's just no time"

When phoned up by angry directors, the programmer told them that he was washing his hair, and had soap in his eyes; "I've got my hands full right now. Can I call you back?" Needless to say, there was no return call.

Talking to journalists earlier, "You're going to have to wait for the next patch. As to when that will come out, I just don't know."

He was told that the systems that ran his software will need the patch so that they don't get hacked.

"That's not my fault. You shouldn't have installed it. It was free after all. Why should I support a free product?"

Many companies are said to have been made vulnerable by this security flaw, and are outraged by the lack of support provided. "We depend on this for our business," an IT director flounced. "It's frustrating he is not taking this seriously."

Charles Babbage is dead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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