A new website has been launched today to compete with Twitter, the social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read other users' updates known as tweets.
While anyone can sign up to Twitter, the new site, Twatter, will place restrictions on who can post updates (called 'Twats') by only allowing access to E-list celebrities and particularly banal posters who are expected to consistently post messages such as 'Am currently on my PC' or 'Just been sucked off by Comedy Dave'.
A spokesman for Twatter said, "We're really hoping that all of the so called celebrities currently on Twitter will switch to us. Twatter will enable them to publish their inane and boring posts without interference from the intelligence of the general public. We have basically recognised the need for a platform for these well known personalities to word-wank in private, rather than sharing with members of the general public who have no real lives of their own."