(Port Charles NY) Doctors at General Hospital performed the world's first dog to human face transplant yesterday. The patient's name is Michelle Critter and she is said to be resting comfortably. Ms. Critter now has the face of a pit bull and she is getting used to her new looks.
Ms. Critter troubles began last weekend after a night of heavy partying.
"I was drunk and stoned and passed out on the floor. My pet pit bull named Barky must have been very hungry." she said. "When I woke up, it was like a nightmare. Barky ate every scrap of flesh off my face. I called 911 and then passed out again."
Doctors at General Hospital were shocked at her condition. She looked like a skull with its eyeballs popping out. The doctors decided only a face transplant could save her. Since no humans were available to donate a face, they decided to use her dog Barky instead.
"I was a little surprised to see Barky's face when the doctors gave me a mirror!" laughed Ms. Critter. "The ears are really cute and I love having such strong teeth!" she said.
Ms. Critter's plight and positive attitude have captured the attention of the main stream media. She will appear on the cover of Zero Magazine next month, along with Oprah Winfrey. Ms. Critter is the dog with the cute ears.