Written by Pointer
Print this

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

image for Obama Names Maturbating Monkey to Comprehensive Sex Ed Commission
Chairman Spankie, the monkey has the pedigree of a Philadelphia zoo lawyer

As Barack Obama reverses each and every anti science and religiously moralistic Bush administration dogma and doctrine, we have seen fall ignorance of intelligent design and the stupidity of stem cell bans. Now finally the onerous only abstinence burden has fallen to reason and science.

Armed with research that demonstrates that abstinence only education only leads to unprecedented numbers of unprotected, highest risk butt forking acts, the new Democratic administration has created a Comprehensive Sex Ed Commission. The CSEC will promote ancient notions like condom use, birth control, masturbation and moderate risk oral sex.

Obama has chosen the infamous masturbating monkey from the Philadelphia Zoo, Spankie, to head the commission. Republican neo-puritans have already begun to try to give the shaft to the CSEC. Too Obese to Fuck Rush Limbaugh denounced the permissive approach and insisted that the present US strategy of over eating and under exercising will soon vindicate the inevitability of Abstinence .

Make Pointer's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 4?

9 20 11 10
54 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more