Scientists believe that they have made a major breakthrough in evolutionary studies. They studied the behavior of a chimpanzee in London zoo. By surrounding him with jeering teenagers they were able to coax the chimp into a reaction. He promptly through rocks at the children.
This is an amazing discovery because previously it was thought chimps only threw shit. Now with the help of this study it can be proved that they throw rocks also. Dr Alvin Star-Dust of the Central Unit of National Testing said "They can learn to throw rocks and this is a bit more friendly than chucking shit.
Alvin Stardust and chucking shit in the same paragraph. Nirvana.
We asked for an interview with regular primate Monkey Woods. He responded by chucking some rocks at us. Well he'd thrown all his shit all ready.