Written by Aspartame Boy
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Tuesday, 10 March 2009

image for Scientists unleash created life into ecoshpere
This victim forgot how to blink

NIGERIA- At an undisclosed lab deep in the jungle a horror has been unleashed. Dr. Braindeath, our reliable, but discreet source at the lab, let us know that a bacteria, similar to the one producing the precursors of aspartame, has been created that actually excretes pure aspartame, directly in the gut of its host.

Otherwise harmless, this bacteria can rot the brain of it's victim in a matter of weeks. Once infected, if treated in time, the infection can be cured. But, once it is pervasive, a steady diet of antibiotics would be required to keep ones brain from rotting. That would also prove lethal.. and expensive. Do I hear drug companies cheering in the background? I knew I had good hearing.

Why this bacteria? Why now? Population is out of control. There is a vaccine and it has been administered to the chosen.

Have you had it yet? If not, now would be good a time to leave the planet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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