Written by Lawrence V. Endl
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Saturday, 28 February 2009

image for Gore "All Humans Must Die"

AL Gore announced today in a infomercial that all humans must die. He attempted to appear on many highly acclaimed shows such as NPR, Elvira Mistress of the Night, and the Rosie Show to make his announcement but it appears even they are tired of his BS.

In the presentation including a plethora of charts, diagrams, and pictures of melting ice cubes and dead baby seals the point was raised that humans caused even more global warming than he previously thought. And he made the amazing discovery that all humans breath and therefore are a immediate threat to the world eco system by the amount of the carbon dioxide we exhale. Even though more carbon is expelled by wild fires, volcanic activity, and the common roach, he exclaims, "human co2 must be stopped."

Many environmental groups have endorsed Gore's position. They have banned together to form the "Kill All Humans to Save the World Coalition." Al Gore instructs all people everywhere to bulldoze their homes and lay down till they die. Poisons or bullets are not advised because they might unintentional hurt a nearby animal.

Gore volunteers to stay behind to monitor progress from his several mansions. Some of his family, his lear jet pilot, and some other people he liked to party with will also stay behind. So lets all comply, it would be the gorey thing to do.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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