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Thursday, 26 February 2009

image for Queen to Twitter Christmas speech
Queen to use traditional Twitter sceptre

Queen Elizabeth is to deliver her annual Christmas speech by Twitter. The 15 minute message to the Commonwealth will be replaced with a 140-character statement.

The Queen already has 4,149 followers on her twitter account.

Besides the pre-recorded Twitter message, members of the Royal Family will Twitter on Christmas Day about the goose, presents and Indiana Jones, Buckingham Palace revealed in a strangely unfestive but Zeitgeistish statement.

At the State Opening of Parliament, HRH Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, and HRH Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales will both Twitter before, during and after the anachronistic spoken Queen's Speech.

The Palace has denied the Twitter switch was due to collapsing ratings for the Christmas message - or a move to pressure TV companies to pay a rumoured £19 million fee.

However, media analyst Heinz Gettaproperjob said the switch was a canny regal move.

"Axing the broadcast will group a bomb in British Christmases, for sure.

"Broadcasters will be locked in a bidding war to ensure they can lure Her Majesty back for 2010 - hopefully they will wake up sooner and give into her demands here and now for 2009."

Unwatched TV station Watch has openly offered the Royal Family £1.7 million for a 45-minute Christmas Day show featuring the Queen, those up to seventh in line to the throne and Richard & Judy.

Josh Friendly, unnamed palace source, said: "It is unlikely Her Majesty would go so far down the food chain as to appear on Watch.

"We can reveal Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, has signed a deal to co-host a motoring and helicoptering show on Dave with Brian May."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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