(Beigetown, Texas) Planning to take little Rover to Florida, but worried that the UV might damage her coat? Fret not, because the good folks from Mist-ova ™ Tan have just come up with a solution. Within the next few months the company will be shipping their new units nicknamed 'Beast-ova Tan' to thousands of salons that are now dowsing human customers with there mixture of moisturizer and brown paint.
Mist-ova ™ Tan's president Dick White believes that the potential market for his new product will be substantial , for as he argues " when it comes to their pets, even perfectly intelligent people seem to use only a fraction of their brains. The dumb ones just do whatever they see advertised anyway".
According to White, the spray on tan is perfectly safe on any household pet. It has been specially waterproofed to allow even fish to be changed into any color their owners desire, as long as it is brown.
Admitting that the whole thing might be viewed as silly and even grossly extravagant by some, especially in these recessionary times, White argues that absurd excess "has never stood in the way of business or profit: look at the silly f***** who inject themselves with Botox ".
As he sees it, the most enthusiastic users will be found at dog and cat shows, "because that's where you'll find the real nutters".