Written by alfred norton
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Topics: Space, NASA

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

image for Former NASA scientist discover the Greatest Thing
Now Enlightened

59 years old Albrect Oltemrz, former NASA's chief scientist of the Cosmic Exploratory Research (CER), one of the major branches of JPL.

As a child, Oltemrz who came from Germany showed extraordinary talent, by age 1 he was able to speak fluent German and able to compute intermediate mathematical dilemmas. By the time he was in high school, he corrected his professor in front of the class about Newton's law when it made a mistake. Receiving full scholarship in university, he took up all branches of Physics in just a stunning 6 years, he graduated right away a Doctor in Physics. He was appointed analyst in the Nazi research camp during Hitler's time.

"Call him superman," said John Cascada one of his colleagues in CER. He was fun to be with, an all-rounded man. He can talk jokes, though sometimes corny, dunk basketballs and fall his ass to the ground, sometimes cry over the fate of interstellar galaxial collision, and almost anything that normal human do. The most celebrated though of all his achievement was his development of "Sucking Holes Theory," giving birth to what is now called "Black Holes." Since then he devoted his time in NASA thinking about Holes.

Oltemrz who is now a retired scientist, spends most of his time in his beautiful house in Mountain View Valley, California. He occasionally visits NASA, but often spends his time alone in his medieval inspired room. He immersed himself thinking of subatomic particles, the cosmos, space travels, solving infinity, dark matters, and thinking beyond the mother of the universes.

"I have discovered the greatest thing!" claimed Oltemrz crying and yelling at me, "by coming all together these theories," he paused then shreik - "eureka!"

Oltemrz has change a lot since his retirement. He frequently run in the halls of his house, sometimes naked, hair unkempt, stomps his feet in the joy he felt, burst into laughter and suddenly broke to cry, just to express the equation of his knowledge.

"I just can't explain the joy I felt of coming this far! No pen could write, no papers could ever hold, no computers could calculate, no camera could capture, no house could shelter, no penny-funny, no superman-woman, moony-money, boogie-baggy…." And he stares blankly on the ceiling then burst into horrific laughter then sobbed and added "thknfke fukmfo holknfley," then "@#$^ @#%$ &*(&^."

Whatever this man has on his mind, surely he has discovered something new, maybe about Big Bang or another Majestic Holes, but just could not express it out. Maybe this is what the noble thinkers of the past says, "Enlightenment."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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