Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 4 February 2009

image for Man Blows Hole In Ozone Layer With Fart
Satellite image of the area over Dudley

A Moslem woman has made a scathing allegation, that a Dudley man contributed to the acceleration of Global Warming this morning, when he deliberately unleashed a bolt of methane gas from his arse, that shot straight through the Ozone Layer, damaging it irreparably.

Police who raced to the scene, say the man, who was about 40 years of age, and wearing a combat jacket, blue jeans and construction-type boots, escaped from the area around Dudley town centre on foot, towards the bus station.

It's not known why the man was able to execute such a powerful force into the atmosphere, but the West Midlands town is noted for having some of the best Indian curry houses in the area.

The Moslem lady, Sharifa al-Makhtoum, 23, had been travelling on a bus with the suspect. When they alighted at the same stop, the suspect approached Miss al-Makhtoum and asked her to 'pull his finger'. According to her, when she did:

"There was a sound like curtains ripping. A large green dart emerged from the man's bottom, and shot into the sky. He ran away laughing. I'm very worried!"

A police spokesman said tonight that any members of the public who see the man, possibly with a hole burnt in his jeans, should call officers, and should, under no circumstances try to apprehend him themselves.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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