A 35 year old married man, formerly of Italy, now residing in Littledick, TX, has finally gotten his wife of 10 years pregnant, by proxy, after many, many attempts.
The man's name, Canno Finda Mydicka, you see, was born with a "nanopenis" which caused many problems for him at school, and then later his wife. In junior high and high school, Canno's friends in the locker room during gym class used to make fun of him all the time, saying nasty things like, "Hey Canno, need a microscope so you can pee," "Hey Canno, if you go in the pool your nanopenis will shrink from getting water logged and you'll never find it," Hey Canno, I got some pepper, just sprinkle some on your nanodick and when it sneezes, lasso it so you can catch it before it goes back in." All these insults eventually led to Canno's self-esteem being so low that he had to erect a fence around it so the ants wouldn't piss on it.
Visiting several fertility specialists throughout the U.S., Mydicka said that he was beginning to feel like he wasn't a man anymore, and his wife was considering a divorce if he couldn't give her some kids. Desperate for results, one of his doctors recommended he see Dr. Quackolopolis, a world-renowned specialist in reproductive disorders.
When Mydicka visited Dr. Quackolopolis, he noticed the problem instantly. Setting out to work, the doctor told Mydicka, and his wife Frus Ter Rated, that he could get his wife pregnant with a procedure he calls "Pregnancy by Proxy." This will consummate your marriage and get your wife pregnant, plus make you feel like the man you want to be. Frus was elated, and Mydicka anxious about this miracle procedure.
When we last interviewed Mydicka and his wife Frus, she was now pregnant, and carrying their baby to term. Asked how the procedure was done, Mydicka told us that the Doctor collected sample eggs from his wife and placed them inside of an amoeba, (one-celled creature). After that was done, Mydicka inserted his nanopenis in the amoeba, using an electron microscope, and ended up fertilizing his wife's egg. Standing in the background, while he had intercourse with the amoeba, his wife moaned, groaned, and generally made sounds as if she were having real sex with her husband. Mydicka was in heaven as he pumped, pounded, and prodded his nanoerection into the wiggling amoeba.
After the intercourse, the fertilized egg was re-implanted into Mydicka's wife. The only problem they had, however, was that Mydicka's sperm had to line up in single file in order to be ejected from the nanopenis. So it took a while for all of the spooge to empty.
Both Mydicka and Frus are happy they were finally able to consummate their marriage and get her pregnant at the same time, even it if was by proxy.