Medical doctors throughout the world today are mystified over what has been described as the first pregnancy caused by masturbation. News of the discovery traveled like wildfire and had the town's tongues wagging furiously about the allegation.
The victim, a 20 year old exchange student from Mumbai, India, discovered she was pregnant 2 weeks after she jacked-off her boyfriend. Unable to reconcile her virginity and being pregnant, doctors were highly suspicious, and secretly held that either this was the most lyingest slut they ever had a chance to examine, or the "product" of the masturbation session somehow managed to shuttle themselves into her vagina.
Scientists had running jokes about the poor student, whose parents were absolutely livid, and calling on Vishnu for guidance. One witty scientist wondered if "Scotty" had used the Star Ship Enterprise's transporter to beam the heady alien flagella into her vagina where they would be fighting all kinds of wet Klingon's and sticky warships. Not satisfied with speculation, however, scientists studied further.
For classification purposes, however, scientists dubbed the case, "The student with the wondering vagina," and ordered tests, i.e., MRI, PET, CAT, Amnio, NAACP, KKK, NBA, and WWF.
It wasn't until the final full-body CAT scan that scientists discovered what had happened. When they brought up the computer generated images they were astonished. Apparently, the student wasn't lying because they discovered a lump on the palm of her hand and inside that lump was a tiny baby developing. The biological father's parents had always warned him that playing with his pee-pee would cause hair to grow on his palms, and make him go blind. But the girls parents obviously didn't warn her about the risk of getting pregnant if she played with someone else's pee-pee.
The surgeon general has now issued a warning for all students regarding unplanned pregnancies and masturbatory activities without using rubber glove protection.