Philadelphia PA -- The last pencil is expected to take its final breathe sometime later this year. The handy pencil joined mankind during the days of ancient Egypt. Its numbers swelled to the trillions with the Baby Boom Generation. Now, they only number in the thousands. Dozens are worn down every day and soon there will be none.
Only the common Number Two Yellow Pencil still survives. Number One and Number Three Pencils went extinct in the 1980's. There are still sparse sightings of the Red Pencil, but no confirmed red marks have been recorded.
The pencil was simply the victim of evolution. The digital revolution overwhelmed the pencil's habitat to the point of extinction. Schools and offices are now entirely digital, with not a pencil in sight. The pencil's carbon graphite center sealed its doom. The fight against Global Warming is more important than the lowly pencil.
Ironically, the pencil's nemesis --The Pencil Sharpener-- will also die out. The pencil sharpener will meet extinction right after it grinds the last pencil down to the nub.
The pencil's demise will also mean certain extinction for the eraser as well. The chewy, pink parasite that attaches itself to the pencil will find itself homeless.
Children of the future will never have the satisfaction of chewing an eraser off a pencil. Just one more example of the blandness of Village life. Be seeing you!