It wasn't until the second week of his Presidency that Obama noticed the cackling. He thought it was his imagination, but soon realized it wasn't. Something sinister lay beneath the White House.
Obama secretly called in a Kenyan relative who was an expert at dealing with evil spirits to rid the place of whatever malfeased entity had taken abode there. Mandaho investigated the aura of the building then began the rites that would free it and his famous nephew from whatever curse they were under. Magical herbs were burnt, positive spells recited.
Mandaho went into a trance, searched the inner worlds, then returned and said, "There is an evil spirit beneath the building who refuses to leave. He must be purged!" Mandaho hurried to the basement with handfuls of $100 bills and started burning them before a hidden door. "This is your money we are burning, oh malevolent one!" he said. Suddenly Cheney burst out of the door in a sweat, eyes bulging, wringing his hands.
"So this is your 'undisclosed location'!" quipped Obama.