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Monday, 19 January 2009

image for New computer virus worse than aftermath of an Amy Winehouse session
Keep your PC indoors to avoid PC flu virus

A new computer virus has been discovered which is potentially more lethal than a night out with Amy Winehouse.

The new virus, called "Atchoo" actually infects computers with winter flu, leaving them sneezing profusely, with blocked disk drives and motherboards with runny chips.

An expert from Microsoft, Lenny Anorak, said he has never witnessed anything like it.

When an infected computer is switched on, it immediately starts sneezing, coughing and a green pus-like seepage occurs from USB ports and DVD drives.

Normal virus scans, malaware checks and firwealls seem to have no effect, and the virus can spread to humans if they don't wear protective face masks when using their PC's.

Mr Anorak suggests that any infected PC's should be wrapped up warmly and be given cold remedies such as Lemsip or Anadin during the day. Although perhaps harking back to the old advertisements, maybe not given anything at all, because once upon a time the campaign wording was "Nothing acts faster than Anadin" which implies it might be best to take nothing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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