The next generation of mobile phones currently in development, will be so intelligent that the will drive to work for you, do your job, drive home again in the evening, stopping off at the supermarket on the way and make your dinner for you.
A spokesperson from Apple said, "just wait until you see the new Apple iPhone! Not only will it replace every electrical good that you have ever owned, it will also go to work for you and earn it's own massive tariff."
A raft of copycat phones from other manufacturers are expected to follow in it's wake, meaning that the last incentive to leave the house for many people will finally be dispensed with. Imitations are expected within six months from Sony Ericsson, Samsung, Siemens and Nokia.
Customers of the 3 Network are warned that they may find their phones. ' throwing a sickie' most days.