In a stunning abberation of nature, leaf-bearing trees worldwide have stopped shedding their leaves in the winter.
"Shove it up your xylem and phloem," one markedly aggravated tree, Mr. Maple Hardwood, exclaimed. "We're deciduous trees. We simply 'decided' not to shed our leaves this year."
Mr. Hardwood continuted, "How would you like to stand around in plain view, naked for four or five months out of the year? We simply decided to 'shed' so to speak, our embarrassment this year and remain 'leaved'".
Global Warming theorists all over the planet are studying the potential danger of this new wrinkle in nature.