Written by chris whewell
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Topics: LHC, Carol Vorderman

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

The story regarding Carol Vorderman's resignation from the long-running Channel 4 show, Countdown, took an amazing twist yesterday.

Sexy Carol, the first female ever to appear fully clothed on Channel 4, had intimated that the reason for her departure was that bosses had offered a new contract, but at only 10% of her previous salary.

Perennial entertainer Des O'Connor (73) also resigned in protest at the treatment of Ms. Vorderman

But in a recent interview, her agent confirmed the story was no more than a smokescreen, and that in fact, Carol (42), an all-round boffin and braniac has been seconded by CERN to help solve the world's biggest conundrum.

The Financial Black Hole, caused by the Large Hadron Collider threatens to swallow up all the money in the world.

Construction of the planned second Large Hadron Collider, due to be built in Fiji has been disrupted as union leaders and management debate how the workforce will be paid, should money cease to exist.

Construction Union spokesperson, Pete Bogg expressed his members concerns to the world's press after the meeting, but none of the assembled journalists could be bothered to write them down.

Ms. Vorderman is believed to be in Lausanne, attending the summit of all the world's eggheads. She flew out of RAF Northolt in a private Learjet, wearing a skin tight black pvc catsuit (Ms. Vorderman that is, not the Learjet)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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