Written by chris whewell
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Topics: Economy, LHC, Cern

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

image for Theory on LHC:FBH solution discussed by boffins
A Boffin yesterday

Braniacs from all over the planet met today in Lausanne, Switzerland in an attempt to thrash out a solution to the Financial Black Hole, caused by the Large Hadron Collider.

Many theorum have been discussed and discarded as argument, counter-argument, parry and thrust continued into the night.

Finally, the solution suggested by the Fijian scientific delegation was given almost unanimous support, with only the scientists of Christmas Island abstaining, as they usually do.

The proposed solution requires the construction of a second Large Hadron Collider, at the precise point on the planet opposite to the French/Swiss machine.

Switching it on will hopefully generate a second Black Hole, but with the machine being in the Southern Hemisphere, where everybody walks upside-down anyway, all the money will theoretically fall out.

Markets in London and New York, having been in freefall since November, rallied dramatically on hearing of the Fijian proposal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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