Written by Jesus Budda
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Thursday, 18 December 2008

image for Professor labels Creationists as 'Nut Jobs'
Creationists believe that this dog is decended from the actual dog Noah took onto the ark back then. I'm unsure

The improbably named Professor Penis McTitty caused uproar at yesterday's International Science Convention when he branded all Creationists as "nut-jobs".

A verbal sparring match ensued between a group of Creationist's from Alabama who has accidentally turned up at the convention after taking the wrong turn after leaving crazy church.

They claimed that the Professor was wrong and that, according to their own research, only about 58% of Creationists could be classified as 'nut-jobs'. The rest fell into 'wing-nut' and 'fruitcake' territory.

"For every Billy-Bob and Lou-Ann there's a Randy and Tina", said a Creationist spokesman, "for instance, I believe that Jesus ate dinosaur meat - now thems not the words of a nut-jub".

He also cited verses in the Bible, which they say clearly contradicted Darwinian theory:

"Noah's ark had two of every animal - except for the pretty unicorn. There was no mention anywhere of a velociraptor, tyrannosaurus or Indians. They just don't exist. It's a fact of the good book".

The professor later backed down publicly from his statements but has reserved the right to mutter under his breath about how stupid the Creationists are and draw funny little anti-Creationist cartoons in his journals to pass the time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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