Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 16 December 2008

image for Norovirus Makes Us Sick! - Doctors
Not the Norovirus

The winter vomiting bug, Norovirus, could spread rapidly across England unless people are sensible and stay at home when they have the virus, according to a leading GP.

Doctor Gerald Wheeze, an expert on winter vomiting bugs, told a news conference that he had nothing but loathing for the virus, and said:

"Norovirus is very dangerous - it really makes me sick!"

Last year more than 3million people had the bug, which also causes diarrhoea and is spread through contaminated surfaces.

It thrives in confined environments such as hospitals, nursing homes, schools and cruise ships, but can be beaten by good hygiene.

Doctor Pardip Nahru of a hospital in the Restricted Zone, said:

"It's one of those bugs that makes me puke!"

Other medical experts have said that as many as 5million people could get diarrhoea if the virus really takes hold, and have told people to wipe their bottoms vigilantly, whilst making sure they don't get faeces under their fingernails. This can further exacerbate the problem of cross-infection when, for example, making sandwiches for loved ones, or offering babies and young children a finger to suck whilst playing with them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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